It's dark and lonely here.
My hands are shaking,
There's a voice in my head saying I couldn't do it,
Then there's another voice in my head, battling hard with the demon inside.

I wish I can do better in life, I wish I can do more in life, I wish I was happy, I wish.
I know I have to say I am because what you beliefs, will attract rite?
I know I have to stop complaining, get up and be stronger than before.
I know I have to keep on smiling, knowing that everything is temporary including happiness and sadness.
I know I have to keep on fighting, I know.

But sometimes, it's hard. It's too painful.
No, I'm not giving up, for all I know if I do, everything is over.
I would fail and live a life full of despair and misery.

It's dark and lonely here.
All I can feel is emptiness and guilt.
The guilt where I kept on doing the wrong things instead of right.
I keep going back when I need to move forward.
I always get lost when I already have a map.
It's tiring.

So I'm going to rest, taking my time to clear out my space,
Reflect what is right and wrong,
Ask me those what, why, when and how for myself,
It seems lonely, but the lonely moment is when I expect too much in the short term,
It's lonely when I seek for my worth/validation in other people.

I don't blame myself because I know sometimes I need love,
But my forgetful ass always tends to forget that the only love I have to long for is Allah.
And, the happiness that I'm seeking is within me.
I don't blame myself.
I did well, and I, for now, I need to rest, preparing myself for a better journey to come tomorrow.

I'm a warrior.